I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
