We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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