sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
