No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
