Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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