oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My bed smells like the plague
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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