I must be too annoying 4 u.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Still dying that you shit outside
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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