there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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