U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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