okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
