the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Floor bacon is actually really good
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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