i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
