I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
