thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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