Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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