How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
