We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I could fuck to npr.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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