honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
