You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
