ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
