thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
