if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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