Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
