Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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