White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
