and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
