is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
