Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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