Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
