Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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