i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
