In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
