I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
