He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
