Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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