hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
