piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
