the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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