WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
