I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize