Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
