I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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