yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
