im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
