brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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