the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize