Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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