im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
