he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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