but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
