I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
