He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
