all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
