so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
