i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
