i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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