I wish I only lived at night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
