i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
