drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
