All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
