It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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