Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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