I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
