whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
