I don't think brook has ever known best
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
