i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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