So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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